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Archive for November, 2008

For the last couple of months, I have been participating in an awesome Ski Conditioning program led by my friend Cory from RallySport here in Boulder. Not only are Cory’s trainings fun, they pack a real punch and they’re available for the taking if you’re so inclined. Cory is also easy on the eyes and single, which never hurts.

Check out his flyer below and be sure to tell him the Boulder Maven sent you!

cory_smith_flyer

Here’s a laugh courtesy of someecards.com:

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Volume Two: The Karmic Purge

Well, I promised updates from my match.com experience, so I’m sticking to that promise. In all honesty, however, there’s really not much to report. In typical Boulder Maven fashion, I’ve proven to be much more picky and easily creeped out than is reasonable when choosing to be involved in online dating situations. (Anne has actually gone out on a few dates already—keep an eye out for her update.) I’ve only replied to one of the many e-mails I’ve received from potential dates, I scoff at “winks” people send, I discriminate against profile names, and I’m currently feeling stalked by the 1,061 people who have viewed my profile thus far.

Wasn’t this supposed to be funny? For now, I guess I’ll have to settle for laughing at profile names—here are a few you might like: SeedyEye, MisterMainEvent, RomanceRabies, KingCobWeb, the incredibly enticing list goes on . . .

Anne and I have concluded that I’m currently undergoing a karmic purge. Until that cycle ends, there’s no telling how many more of these high-quality encounters I’ll have to endure. For your reading pleasure, I’ve compiled a verbatim “best of” from some messages I’ve received of late . . . yes, these are real.

Here’s a response to a line in my profile that says, “I’m looking for someone with bullet-proof self confidence and a touch of panache.” Seems like a match made in heaven . . .

I’m not sure what panache is, but I think there’s some on the bottom of my shoe. Every time I re-read your profile I keep thinking I see the word “ballet” but then I realize it’s just “bullet”.

This little gem is from a 46-year-old man in Boulder (I said I’m only interested in men who are 29-35, but reading isn’t for everyone):

May name is Gustavo. I was in the months of March Joining Match is before but I had the fortune to meet a beautiful girl that I dated for 2 months. Recently and out of the blues and after she told me that she loved me and adored me she said that she couldn’t be with me any more , I’m still heart broken, I don’t understand, I had no more explanation s or questions to ask. I had to move all my thinks out of her place. I loved her to death but she Couldn’t give me and explanation but to cry and tell me that she adored me and love but she had to let me go. It seems to me that happened to be very unstable emotionally. Very complicated and manic type of person. After having my heart complexly broken in pieces and ripped apart y cannot afford any more pain.Thats why a wrote this painful story, so the ones interested in me can read it carefully and know what I will no be up to . I loved and I still love this beautiful girl but was her choice to be affair and not be able to choose love .but fear
I want to find someone like you; I want us to be happy, lovers and friends.
If hat is you and you like my profile, send me a mail.

And this beauty takes the cake (i.e. the “should I report this guy to match.com?” cake):

I know this is going to sound really odd, but if you could keep an open mind . . . here we go. I’m in a wheelchair and have been since birth. I’m completely normal, except for physical ability. Because of this, I get a little. . . sexually frustrated. I can’t help myself because I’m simply not strong enough to get to my gear. I’m looking for a nice lady to help me get some relief because I haven’t had any in a couple years and am going mad. It could just be a one time thing, or it could develop into something more. My apologies for the awkwardness of this email, but I really have very few options. I figure we could get together, drink a little and have some fun. So would you be able to help me out?

Yes, I was officially speechless . . .

More to come.

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Apologies for the lack of posts lately—it has been busy here in mavenland!

I didn’t want Thanksgiving to pass by without expressing some gratitude, however.

Here’s a little something for which I’m grateful:

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Last weekend was the Grand Opening of Ellie’s Eco Home Store in the Village Shopping Center (2525 Arapahoe). As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Ellie’s is owned by Eco Products and is one of the few places in town with a selection of organic sheets.

I would describe Ellie’s as an eco cross between Sears and Target. There is some overlap with health food stores (i.e. lotions, candles, cleaning supplies, etc.), but they also delve into more obscure eco products like office supplies, linens, clothing, dishes, baby products, home decor items, paint, building supplies, the list goes on . . .

Our crazy economy may set them off to a slow start, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. For more extensive details and pictures, see Waylon’s elephant journal article.

If you revel in all things eco, you may also enjoy browsing Sustain Lane (a recently discovered gem) and the Good Guide (recommended by my friend Matt).

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Yes, I meant to say “Sole” as in the Two Sole Sisters store in downtown Boulder. This hip little boutique offers beautiful shoes and handbags that are reminiscent of New York fashion, but still appropriate for our little Boulder scene.

Prices are fairly reasonable, their cashmere socks are downright delectable, and they’re right down the road at 1703 Pearl Street.

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Sorry for the delayed post, ladies!

Our next book club pick is The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. We’re scheduled to meet at Shannon H’s house at 7pm on December 10th. If you need directions, post a comment.

The Boulder Book Store is listing the price at $14.00—visit Indie Bound to find your local, independent bookstore!

Here’s the description from the Indie Bound website (HTML text errors removed courtesy of moi!):

The most talked about and praised first novel of 2007, and winner of the Pulitzer Prize.
Oscar is a sweet but disastrously overweight ghetto nerd who, from the New Jersey home he shares with his old world mother and rebellious sister, dreams of becoming the Dominican J.R.R. Tolkien and, most of all, finding love. But Oscar may never get what he wants. Blame the
fukú curse that has haunted Oscar’s family for generations, following them on their epic journey from Santo Domingo to the USA. Encapsulating Dominican-American history, “The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao” opens our eyes to an astonishing vision of the contemporary American experience and explores the endless human capacity to persevere and risk it all in the name of love.

See you then!

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You may be interested to know that I joined match.com this week . . . mainly in the interest of having some fodder for the blog and for seeing just how hilarious this situation can get.

My friend Anne and I joined together for a) moral support and b) double match.com dates that will inevitably result in some fearful men . . . we’re still deciding whether we should warn the men about the double date beforehand. Stay tuned for the final decision.

My profile is currently set to view men within 5 miles of my Boulder zip code. At this point, I’ve received some creepy guy suggestions, like someone with “Random Dancer” as their profile name and another scary one named “Krishna.”

More to come . . .

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